I miss her already

one and a half hours of sleep
two hour drive to florence airport
in a van with no shocks
fly to catania
“sleep” in hotel for one hour
drive to venue

it’s days like this
that remind me why
sleep deprivation
works as a torture technique

everything is hazy
my head is about 75 pounds
i feel like my body has been
stuffed with that pink insulation
they use to pad the walls of
cheap housing projects

i have to make sure
i don’t snap at anyone.
being this exhausted
is not an optimal state,
especially to play a show
but this is what touring is-
sometimes sleep happens
sometimes it doesn’t

this venue is just wonderful
the cacti forest for lounging,
the massive palms, the jasmine
in bloom, petals falling onto
the instruments on the stage
the lime trees everywhere

it will be the 3rd time i have played here
and i am so thankful to be back

oh heavens
i have just heard about
amy winehouse

twenty seven years of age
so unbelievably young
it seems like 27 is the age
that one’s body breaks
when addictions are unbroken

recently i would hear people laugh
about how drunk she was onstage
and how she couldn’t sing
and all i could think about was
the genius underneath all the booze
or drugs or whatever it was she preferred

that woman was such an
incredible songwriter
she could sing and play guitar
like nobody’s business
she had it all-
so much rhythm and weight
in the way her voice soared
her voice WAS the band

when back to black hit,
i listened to it obsessively
while touring on my first record
it gave me hope for music,
for women and for art in general

she was so good so young

i am sorry for her that she
didn’t have more life
i believe life is worth it,
worth the struggle

i also believe that folks
experience a full life
whatever age they
pass on
but this does not mean
that i get enough of
their lives for myself
it’s only true for the one
who’s passed
i am left selfishly wanting more

what she did do is
leave us with incredible
music and inspiration

and i miss her already